On Billy’s Ocean Made of Tearz: Songs That Make Men Cry

Come to think of it, maybe Billy Ocean was right. There will be sad songs to make you cry. I just don’t know why he chose to sing about it in a song that was clearly designed to induce vomiting. (Not sure if Billy Ocean has been signed to Ipecac Records yet, or not, but I digress.)

In my younger days, I would have (and probably did) scoffed at Lord Ocean’s notion. I never experienced a song having that particular power until the fall of 1995, when none other than Tiffany McCourt put my heart through a paper shredder. So there were two firsts, knocked out all at once: First broken heart and first time having a song yank tears from my eyes. (I think it was Sting’s “Fields of Gold”. Sorry.)

It still doesn’t happen to me at an alarming rate, but the more I live and the more I see, the better chance a song with a certain mood and melody can get me at the right time and there is even one that will get me to do it pretty much anytime my ears get a hold of it. (Stay tuned)

I’ve always proudly cried at movies. I cry way more at movies than I do in real life. But it still takes the perfect tune at the perfect time to get me to weep uncontrollably. I know some men who never cry from songs (or at movies, at that rate) or cry less than me and I know men who cry more than me. I have to think that men who don’t do it force themselves not to. It can be done. You just focus on something else. I prefer to just let the art control and let the tear ducts flow, but I do understand people who try to avoid it, because sometimes crying due to the power of a song can bring out other things that you’ve been trying to keep stowed away for a reason. I admit that sometimes it’s easier to just turn away or turn something off when you start feeling a little verklempt. (Ironically, I think songs have an even better chance at tugging at my heartstrings, when they are played during emotional scenes and/or montages in films.) There are also a handful of songs that put me on the verge of tears based almost solely on how beautiful, genuine and inspiring they sound to me and many of them are not sad songs by any stretch of the imagination.

You may be wondering what made me decide to write this piece. Thanks for asking. One of my favorite publications, Paste Magazine, recently posted another of their great lists. This one listed ten songs that were most likely to make men cry. “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M. came in at number one. I had no major problems with that pick, but I wasn’t overly impressed by the rest of the list in general, as much as I adore Paste and everything that they do. I was immediately curious to know what other songs make men cry, so I sent out posts on Twitter and Facebook to my male friends and followers to find out and surprisingly, I only got a couple of smart-ass responses. Here are the real ones:

“Cry, baby, cry, make your mother sigh.” – four dudes with funny hair

AL from the UK (@NeoplasmSix on Twitter) didn’t actually admit to crying, but said that “The only one that comes close is Johnny Cash’s version of ‘Hurt'” No argument from me there. I don’t think I’ve ever cried while listening to that one, but it might be one of those tunes that is so powerful that I have no choice but to focus on something else. That rendition is the real deal.

Michael Webb from South Jersey (@spudrph) picked some showtunes, (““Empty Chairs At Empty Tables” (Les Miserables), “One Song Glory” (Rent), “You and I” (???) #broadwaygeek”, said Mr. Webb.) which was a brilliant idea. I hadn’t even considered that genre.

Dan Shrimpton (@Shrimpin) of Hitchin, Britain wrote, “My mate played Dorothy Moore – Misty Blue continuously on the jukebox at a wake. After the 14th time I was pretty close.” I hadn’t heard this particular song in a while and after hearing it again, that post made so much sense. I’m sure if I was at a funeral, that tune would have all the right moves. Here’s a cheesy clip of it:

The lovely Andy Manson (@Mansonovic) of Glasgow said, “Don’t Dream It’s Over (Crowded House) has made me cry before, as has Streets of Philadelphia.” (Springsteen) “Don’t Dream…” is one of those songs that just transports me back to my childhood, so considering that, it’s more than a fair pick. I believe that Springsteen one (understandably) made the Paste list as well, but I find some of the songs off his landmark Nebraska album to be far more effective.

Jeffrey Wright (@Professor_Snack) of DC Metro’s pick was “Where Have You Been” by Kathy Mattea

Peter Shorney (@peacockpete) of Newbury, Berkshire, UK said, “In a certain mood, Queen’s Teo Torriate has been known to choke me up.”

Juan of Long Beach, CA (@xdracco) thoughtfully shared, “mad world by Gary jules. From Donnie Darko. It was sad when it came out but now I associate with my nephews death, more sad.” Tragic indeed. I feel for his loss and this song has always been one of those that makes those kinds of memories hard to suppress. For better, or for worse. Here’s a video featuring the touching, breathtaking “Mad World”, which was originally a Tears For Fears song:

The amazing Phil Grech of St. Augustine, FL (@philgrech) is a man after my own heart and coincidentally, one of my cohosts on the Four Horsemen podcast– http://blogtalkradio.com/thefourhorsemen1 –which can be heard each Monday night at 10pm EDT. He selected “Jeff Buckley’s Lover You Should Have Come Over and Nirvana’s You Know You’re Right”. Those are two of my favorite artists. Most of you are probably tired of me talking/writing about Nirvana, so I’ll just touch on the Buckley joint. The entire album Grace is emotional in so many ways for me. It has mended broken hearts for me, but it’s so hard to listen to Jeff Buckley emote when you already know that he’s not with us anymore. Few artists have left a larger void in their absence. This one speaks for itself…

Paul Gude (@sgnp) of parts unknown proudly stated, “Grendel’s Mother by the Mountain Goats makes me cry.”

And finally, my old buddy James Kilmury (my lone Facebook participant) from Austin, TX came through in the clutch with this, “Talvin Singh “Butterfly”, Hybrid “Just for Today”, most of Johann Johannsson’s IBM 1401: A User’s Manual album”.

The MVP performance was turned in by the great Doug Tilley (@Doug_Tilley) of Peterborough, Ontario, who sent me multiple selections including, “Sufjan Steven’s “Casimir Pulaski Day” and Billy Bragg’s “Tank Park Salute” do it for me.. ; Also admit to tearing up a bit to Squeeze’s Up The Junction. ; Warren Zevon’s “Keep Me In Your Heart” ; The Jam “Liza Radley”. I cry a lot more at music than I do at movies. ; One more: Richard Thompson “1952 Vincent Black Lightning”. Wow! Thanks, Doug! Those Stevens and Zevon tunes were perfect picks in my book and almost all of the artists listed are favorites of mine, so I was blown away by Mr. Tilley’s contribution.

And now it’s time for my pick. (@sexbiscuit) This song always gets me and it gets me even more if I’m having a horrible day or I’m going through a breakup. It’s “The Luckiest” by Ben Folds. The song is also great because it makes me cry even when I’m falling in love with someone. Because usually I’m falling the way Ben fell for his wife. Here it is:

“I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.” – Ben Folds

Well, I hope you got something out of this entry other than man tears. And if you missed my post and wanted to tell us what songs do the same thing to you (you can keep it confidential if you want, bro) feel free to tell me in the comments. Thank you. Now let’s go listen to the Top Gun soundtrack and watch some football while drinking beer. And giving Barry Manilow a reacharound. Happy Kwanzaa!

“If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less…keep me in your heart for awhile.” – Warren Zevon